The Water Element is the secret behind enjoying every Heartselling™ conversation you have. When you bring the Water Element of curiosity to each conversation, every potential client will be fresh, fascinating, and intriguing.

Think about the ocean. If you go below the surface and into the depths, there is so much to discover. Your potential clients are the same way; they each have an ocean of depth beneath the surface.

So how does this work in Heartselling™?

When you get curious about your potential clients and give them the opportunity to talk about themselves, they open up. Your listening itself can be very healing for them.

The more curious and interested you are in your potential clients, the more they'll share with you and trust you. Instead of trying to convince your potential clients to try your services (something that many salespeople make the mistake of doing), you ask questions. If your services are a match for your potential client, they'll discover that for themselves. And you'll find them talking themselves into working with you.

There are three types of curiosity: unadulterated, agenda, and intentional. Unadulterated curiosity is great to use at the beginning of a conversation.

Examples of unadulterated curiosity:
"How are you?"
"Oh, tell me more about that."
"Very interesting. What's that like for you?"

Just as a compliment can open the way for acknowledgment, unadulterated curiosity can open the way for more intentional curiosity. Use unadulterated curiosity to explore the "surface" of your clients...to discover the "way in" to their depths. Then, move into intentional curiosity to explore their depths and their potential match for your services.

There's a fine line between agenda curiosity, which can be damaging, and intentional curiosity, which can be healing. When you're in the energy of agenda curiosity, you're thinking, "I want this person to be my client no matter what." When you're in the energy of intentional curiosity, you're thinking, "I want this person to be my client, if it's for the Highest Good of All Beings."

Now, ultimately, you can't know what the Highest Good is, so it allows you to go on a journey of discovery with your potential client.

Here's an example of how to use intentional curiosity...If you are a chiropractor who specializes in helping people with migraine headaches, you might say something to potential clients like this: "Wow, after hearing all about your job, it sounds really stressful. Do you ever get headaches from all that stress?"

If they do get headaches, ask them to tell you more about that. Keep exploring with them. You can ask questions like, "What is that like for you?" or "Tell me more about that."

If they don't have the problem you can help them with, that's okay. This is a great time to let them know what you do and ask if they have any friends or colleagues that do get headaches. And, you can continue to be curious to find out what they are looking for. That way, you can still offer them a resource, it may just not be your services.

The deeper you go, the more they'll trust you. The more they trust you, the more open they will be to sharing what they're most committed to. Once they share what they're looking for next, you can step into the Earth Element and be of service to help them get what they most want. Or you can acknowledge them for their deep commitment and their courage. Or you can get even more curious, and ask them more about it, like "How would it feel when you get what you are looking for?"

Do you see how the Elements work together?

Before you leave the Water Element of curiosity to move into the Wood Element, which is to boldly give them a choice, there is one last question you must ask. This is SO important!

The question is: "If we were to work together, what would you see yourself getting out of it?"

Let them tell you what they see. Then you can say, "Yes, exactly, you'll get a, b, and c, plus x, y, and z."  Or, "You know, I can't promise you that, but what I can promise you is x, y, and z."

There are two reasons to ask this. First, as their trusted advisor, it is your job to make sure you can offer what they want to get from working with you. And second, to help them get really excited about what they could get from working with you and to paint the picture in their own words. When you ask them this question, they actually talk themselves into working with you. And you want them to be really excited before you ask them to take the next step, which might be to sign up for your services.

Ultimately, the deeper they go with you, the more likely it is that they'll become your clients. So it's important to use the Water Element of curiosity to go deep beneath the surface in your Heartselling conversations with your potential clients.

Here are some questions to support you in that.

Water Element Questions:
- "How's your ... (neck, job, life, dreams, or whatever you help people with)?"
- "I'm curious. Would you tell me more about that?"
- "What's that like for you?"
- "How is that affecting... (your life, your business, your relationships)?"
- "What do you want instead?"
- "How would you feel if you got that?"
- "If we were to work together, what would you see yourself getting out of it?"

You'll be amazed to see how your potential clients talk themselves into working with you - if you're a match - and if you're using the Water Element.

We want to know how it goes with your Heartselling conversations once you start using the Water Element!

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If you feel like a plastic salesperson one moment, while trying to convince a potential client to say yes, but a coach, practitioner or heart-based entrepreneur in the next moment, it can feel pretty awkward, because you're not being authentic. The good news is, with Heartselling™, you get to be yourself.

If you still think S-E-L-L is a 4-letter word and you don't want anything to do with it, it's time to make it a 5-letter word and spell it "S-E-R-V-E."

The reason so many Holistic Practitioners and Coaches have a tough time selling their services is that (1) they forget they are offering services and (2) the point is to serve.

How can you do this?

We recommend that you treat your potential clients as you treat the people who are already your clients. When you're with your clients, you show up to serve them, and it should be the same with potential clients. So your Heartselling™ conversations should be centered on serving the person in front of you.

How do you serve? You find out if what they are looking for is something you can help them with before you launch into your spiel about what you do.

When we meet someone new, we try to find out what is going on with them in their life and business so we can figure out how we can best serve them. Sometimes it means we recommend our own programs and sometimes it means we recommend someone else's products or services.

Wouldn't you rather share what you do with someone who has just said they need the exact thing you offer? This is what Heartselling™ is all about.

So in the Earth Element, you engage with potential clients from a state of service, and you ask questions to find out what they are looking for. This is what separates you from obnoxious, pushy salespeople.

Your job as a Heartseller™ is to care enough about what they want that you'll ask them what they want next in their life.

Yes, that's right. Ask them. While you may be very intuitive, the best way to find out what they want is to ask them. You don't have to guess. You just ask them. And we can almost guarantee that they'll love telling you. After all, how many people ask you "What are you looking for next?" and really listen to your answer?

The key to the Earth Element is service. Attracting clients is not about you and your services. It is about your potential clients and what they want.

This is so important that we want you to say out loud, "It's not about me, it's about them."

Only when you know what they want can you provide it for them.  When someone shares what they're looking for, you can serve them by offering your services if what they're looking for is what you offer.  If what you offer isn't what they're looking for, you can serve them by referring them to someone who does provide what they're looking for.

Either way, you serve the person in front of you.  When you serve others in this way, you will find that people will naturally refer others to you.

This is the power of being in the Earth Element. There is enough for everyone, and your goal is to help people get exactly what they want.

But let's face it, it can be challenging to be in this state of abundance when what you really need are new clients so that you can pay the bills.

Here's a secret to stepping into abundance. Dream out into the future when you are very successful and have more clients than you thought possible. Make that dream as vivid as you can, and whenever you start feeling desperate, just imagine that you've already arrived at that place where you have more than enough clients and you simply want clients for the sheer joy of contributing to them.

So, your job as a master Heartseller™ is to be what marketing guru Jay Abraham calls a "trusted advisor." As a trusted advisor, you care more about your potential client than you do about making a sale.

There is an expression, "People have to know that you care before they care what you know." As a trusted advisor, you show your care by listening first and speaking second.

Being a trusted advisor is a sacred responsibility. When someone is considering signing up for your services, they trust that you have their best interest in mind. Putting your own self-interest before your client's is one of the most damaging things you can do to your business in the long-term.

As trusted advisors, we feel deeply honored when people call us or approach us at our workshops to ask us which program of ours we feel is the best match for them. We feel honored because our goal is to change the face of selling from selling to serving. When our potential clients trust us enough to ask our advice about what they should do next in their lives or businesses, it is very fulfilling to us.

We ask that you be a trusted advisor with your clients and keep their best interest in mind as you're having Heartselling™ conversations with them.

Here are some Earth questions to support you to serve as a trusted advisor.  Earth questions are easy, open-ended, and designed to find out what your potential client wants.

Earth Questions/Statements:
- "What project are you most excited about and what are you looking for next?"

- "How can I support you in that?"

- "If I could help you with that, is that something you'd be interested in hearing about?"

- "What would most serve you right now?"

In our next post you'll learn about the missing ingredient in most Heartselling conversations, that when you put this in place, you'll find people leaning in and hungry to sign up for your services.

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Many Coaches and Practitioners feel nervous about selling their services because they are so busy trying not to be "Sales-y."

If this describes you, you're not alone. I (Sharla) remember going to networking events in Santa Cruz years ago, feeling like I was the youngest person there. As I walked into the event (as a life coach and an acupuncturist) I thought, "I am so uncomfortable at these things!"

Then one day it dawned on me that I was so busy worrying about how I was being perceived that I couldn't really CONNECT with anyone there.
I realized that if I found a way to CONNECT instantly with people I met, I stopped feeling anxious and instead started engaging with others on a heart level.

Connection comes from the Fire Element. Fire comes from the energy of summer time. Imagine laughing around a campfire and having fun with your friends enjoying the feeling of connection. In the 5 Element model, your Heart is related to the Fire Element. So when you're meeting new people, you can use your Fire Element to CONNECT.

We'll share a tool you can use to create instant CONNECTION with anyone you meet. Before we share the tool, we want to share a little about the theory behind why it works so well.

Did you know there are special "meridians" or "channels" on the surface of your body and they have acupuncture points along their path? These meridians are much like a stream or a river on the surface of your body -- and when you touch a point along the meridian you send a stream of energy through it. Since meridians are connected to internal organs, this stream of energy can create a positive change within your internal organs.

And did you know there are two meridians in each of your hands that are connected to your heart? One of these meridians is directly connected to your heart and the other meridian is connected to your heart via your Heart Protector, otherwise known as your pericardium or covering of the heart.

Here are the pathways of both your Heart and Heart Protector Meridians. You can see how they connect your heart to your hands.

Have you ever done any kind of Chi Gong where you rub your hands together and when you pull them apart, you feel the energy between them? Well, that energy is moving between an acupuncture point on your Heart Protector Meridian (called "Laogong" or Heart Protector 8) that is in the center of your palm.

When you create this energy in your hands, you have the ability to create instant connection. One way I got over feeling nervous at those networking events was by using the power of my Heart and Heart Protector Meridian in my hands.

Here's how you can do this, too:

1. Put your hands on you heart to really connect with your heart energy. Think about how you're going to meet some great people (like some of your clients you really love)!
2. Take the energy from your heart and consciously put it in your hands (you can rub them together like the Chi Gong exercise we described above if that helps).
3. When you shake the hand of someone you are meeting for the first time, take their hand between both of your hands so you are surrounding their hand with your heart energy you gathered earlier. Just having that intention to send your heart energy to them, looking into their eyes, and being interested in them creates an instant connection.

Next time you're at an event where you're meeting new people, we encourage you to try this and notice how different it feels. We will share more tips and tools with you about how to quit "selling" and start "serving" to attract more clients immediately.

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