April 6, 2017 by Jesse Koren

The Question That Changed My Life…

Twelve years ago, I found my calling to be a Professional Coach. It was like coming home.

I felt like my whole life was secretly designed to make me a world-class coach.
The struggles with food, with alcohol, with my body…

They led me to travel the country by Greyhound Bus, living in eleven different intentional communities.

I tried every healing modality I could get my hands on.

My commitment for healing was SO strong, I was able to dig my way out of the madness without medication or drugs.

Breakthrough1By the time I found coaching, I had healed most of my major challenges and I was HUNGRY to help other people heal theirs.

I tried for almost 2 years. I didn't get One. Single. Paying. Client.
I just couldn’t get anyone to say yes to paying me.

I did lots of free coaching. And I worked all kinds of odd jobs to pay the bills.

Until one day I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I buried my dream of serving thousands of people and got a full-time J-O-B.

Finally, I had security… a nice paycheck every 2 weeks.
It was AWESOME... for the first 3 days.

But with each day that crept by, I felt an insatiable emptiness grow in the pit of my belly.

I had to fill this void with something, right?
Well, luckily, my co-workers always stocked up on sugary treats.

The temptation of those delectable cookies called out to me every minute I was at work, until I succumbed and let them fill me up.

Aaahhh… the sweet feeling of sugar, rushing through my veins.
Minutes later, I felt awful so I went back for another sugar hit.

By the time 5pm came along, I hardly had the energy to drive home.

Jesse and Sharla the year they went from 0-$175,000

Jesse and Sharla the year
we went from 0-$175,000

One morning (after eleven LONG months), I asked myself a question:
"Could I live with myself if I was doing this 5 years from now?"
"HELL NO!!!" was the answer.

I wanted to be married with kids, having impacted thousands of people.

"How about one year from now?"
"Absolutely NOT!!!!!!"

That’s when I knew I had to give my dream another chance.

The moment I re-committed to my business, chocolate chip cookies lost their power over me.

I was exhilarated. And I knew I was going to succeed this time because I had watched Sharla get business coaching and fill her schedule with clients.
I KNEW how she did it, and I KNEW I could do it too.

So, I used my life savings to invest in some expensive business trainings and in less than one month I had enough clients to quit my J-O-B.

Then Sharla and I joined forces and in our first year together we made $175,000.

Jesse and Sharla during one of our recent live events

We’ve gone on to teach over 50,000 Coaches and Holistic Practitioners our signature “Heartselling™” system.

But what we’re most proud of is that our clients have earned over $100 Million Dollars collectively (which means that LOTS of their clients are getting the healing and empowerment they need).

And it all came from asking myself this question:
"Could I live with myself if I was doing this 5 years from now?"

Now it’s your turn…
Could you live with yourself if your life didn’t change much in the next 5 years?

If your answer is “No” or “HELL NO,” then I encourage you to make a bold decision to make 2017 your breakthrough year…

So, that when you look back at your life 5 years from now, you’ll see this year as the year that changed everything.

Are you with us? If so, leave a comment and tell us what this year is about for you.

Tell us what you think...

March 4, 2016 by Jesse Koren

Let Go Of A Client Who Drains You?

Yesterday, one of our Thrive Members posted in our private Facebook group about her decision to let go of a client who drained her. She wasn’t sure if she did the right thing.

In my past, I have drained myself countless times in exchange for money (and it nearly killed me) so, I passionately answered her question... our members loved my response so much that they told me to turn it into a blog post.

Here’s my answer to the question about should I release a client who drains me?

It takes courage to release a client (and the income that comes along with them). I'm glad that you didn't let scarcity over take you.

Exchanging getting drained for getting paid is NOT ever worth it, for any reason! (That is something to write on a post-it note and hang on your desk.)

But, before I would dismiss a client, I would inquire deeply into what was draining about working with this client.

I find that there are 3 Major Client Drainers:

1) Overgiving.
Charging too little or giving too much of your time, almost always leads to feelings of being drained. It takes courage to charge what you want to charge and end the session when you say you’re going to end. Do it anyway. It will leave you with more energy to continue your day.

2) Not speaking your truth.
Those things that you wish you could say to your client (but it might be rude or disrespectful, and after all, they're paying you lots of money...) Those are the things you need to say!!! Just begin your bold statement with a large dose of acknowledgment, compassion and gentleness. It's nearly impossible to boldly speak your truth and get drained at the same time.

3) Getting attached to your clients getting results.
This seems like a good thing... don't we all want our clients to get great results? Of course!

The problem is that when you get attached to your client getting great results, you tighten up. And when you tighten up, you lose connection with your client and you lose connection with your intuition. From this place, you probably push your client too hard, or you protect your client from your inner pusher and you become quiet and withholding. Neither works.

Instead, trust that there is a much bigger picture working here. Sometimes people are ripe for results, and other times, it takes time.

Your clients' results do NOT determine your goodness or worthiness. You can be amazing, even if your client didn't get results. And you can be terrible and still have clients get results.

But... it's helpful to use their lack of results as inspiration to step up your game so that you are holding the most optimal space for your clients to get results.

It's helpful to trust that there is a bigger picture happening that we are not always privy to that goes WAY beyond how much money they made, weight they lost, or soulmate they have found.

It's helpful to celebrate the results they are getting, no matter how big or small.

It's helpful to address your clients' feelings about the results they're getting.

It's helpful to love them completely as they are, even if they don't change a bit. And, at the same time, it's helpful to hold vibrant space for them to become who they are becoming.

But, it's NOT helpful to take responsibility for your clients' results. You can't get results for your client, even if you try your hardest. Because they are the ones doing the work... it's their results. Your job is to hold impeccable space, like a cocoon for a butterfly. The space you hold includes your love, wisdom, energy, and compassion. And it's their choice to become the butterfly.

When you're doing your best to help your client win, it's best to simply hand the rest over to them and to God/the Universe and trust that everything that is happening is exactly what needs to happen.

But, what if you’ve been charging an amount that feels good, sticking to your time agreements, speaking your truth, and giving the results over to God/the Universe. But, you're still getting drained. Well...

Sometimes the arc is simply over and it’s time to complete. After all, even the best things in life have a beginning, middle, and end.

Your work together might feel like a stick of bubble gum that you've been chewing for 30 minutes and it simply no longer has much flavor.

If this is the case, we recommend you set this client free and refer them to another resource that can help them grow.

This will make space for new clients to emerge.

Sometimes, the problem is having draining clients... but other times, the BIGGER problem is simply getting enough high-paying clients to pay the bills. If this is the case, we’d love to help... Check out our life-changing Client Attraction Summit.

Would love to read your comments below.

September 22, 2015 by Jesse Koren

Why You Should Never “Close” Another Sale

If the story I’m about to tell you makes you even a little uncomfortable, I invite you to continue reading because eventually it has a happy ending...

Imagine you’re at a used car lot and you feel a presence lurking. Yes, you need a car but you’re not really finding “your” car in this lot. Suddenly, here he comes sauntering towards you. You notice the way he looks at you, almost like a coyote ready to sink his teeth into the “sale.”

As he approaches, you almost feel him breathing down your neck. You wonder, has he forgotten you are a human being or does he just see you as one big dollar sign?

He approaches with his bright shiny smile (aka baring his teeth) and launches into why this car is the perfect car for you. You want to run and hide, but instead you politely listen to him talk about this “perfect” car you aren’t even interested in. Finally, you use one of your agile maneuvers to distract him for a moment and you make your getaway…phew, that was close!

Okay, so this is a little extreme but I imagine you’ve felt this way at some point in your life…a victim to the salesman who didn’t see you as a person, but instead you became a “sale” and that person’s sole agenda was to “close the sale.”

I know you’re not a used car salesman and I know you’re not ready to sink your teeth into your next victim. But you’ve no doubt felt the impact of this “close the sale” energy at some point. And it is because of these types of experiences that most coaches and holistic practitioners avoid selling at all.

And yet if you want to be successful in your practice you’ve got to learn how to sell. But most sales trainings will tell you that you have to “close the sale.” Let’s take a look at the energy behind “the close” and why you should never “close a sale” again...

First, when you think of “closing a sale,” how do you feel?

For me it conjures up ideas of hunting a “prospect” down just like the coyote metaphor in the story above.

When you’re “closing,” you’re bringing an end to something. When you’re referring to your “prospect” as a “sale,” you’re missing the humanity of the person who’s standing right in front of you or who is on the other end of the phone.

In Heartselling™, you never close a sale. Instead, you support your potential clients to commit to investing in themselves. In essence, you’re helping them open vs. closing them.

For example:

-What if they could be pain free and enjoy picking up their grandkids again?

-What if they really could achieve the dream they’ve been thinking about for years?

-What if they could have 10 times more energy than they have now?

Do you feel the difference in “closing a sale” vs. “opening your potential client?”

Here’s an example of how this works:

At every Client Attraction Summit we do a live Heartselling™ demonstration with a participant. A few years ago at one of our events, I looked out at the hands of volunteers and I was immediately drawn to work with a beautiful, vibrant woman with short red hair and exotic clothes.

As she approached the stage, I realized we had met before at a Tantra workshop, so that’s how we started the conversation. During the course of the conversation, I discovered she had a Vision to help a LOT of people by leading Tantra retreats. I could see her inspiration…and I could also see her frustration with not having the next steps to see her Vision come to life.

First we uncovered what a LOT really meant (in numbers of people and dollars) and I supported her to feel what it would be like to have this dream come true. And she opened and then opened some more. It was like witnessing a flower blooming.

And then I shared with her that we had a step-by-step system to help her earn tens of thousands of dollars leading her retreats…and she opened even more. By the time we were done with the conversation, she was in tears of joy at the excitement of what was possible for her and for her clients to come. By the end of the weekend, she said “Yes” to herself by signing up for the programs that will help her achieve this dream.

It’s conversations like these that remind me why I love selling. Yes, I really said “I love selling.” Because when I have a Heartselling™ conversation with a potential client, I know her life will never be the same. She will see something is possible that she had previously missed, or worse…even felt resigned to never being able to have. It’s about opening her up to deeper parts of herself and having her say “Yes” to what her higher self wants for her.

Do you see how the energy of a Heartselling™ conversation is so different from “closing a sale?”

This is what makes it so powerful and has you become a magnet for the perfect clients.

The next time you are having a conversation with a potential client, remember you’re there to Open them up and notice how different that feels. I bet you’ll be so pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to help them say “Yes” to your services and to say “Yes” to themselves.

In next week’s blog post, you’ll hear from a Thriver who does a beautiful job of opening potential clients and how she thinks about it. If you’ve got any reservations about selling, you’re going to love next week’s post.

Would love to read your comments below.

September 16, 2015 by Jesse Koren

YIKES! My Pants Split Open on Stage

A couple of years ago, we led our Client Attraction Summit.

I (Jesse) had spent many hours the week before the event, praying for avalanches of abundance to flow to the entire Thrive Community. So when I stepped on stage on Friday morning, even though I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep, I was on fire.

By Sunday morning, our attendees are literally glowing. It’s about 11:00am. The song Good Feeling by Flo Rida is blasting from the speakers and I am in my element, dancing solo on stage with a group of about 200 Coaches and Holistic Practitioners dancing with me.

I try a slightly crazy move... and suddenly I feel the back of my pants go RIPPPPPP!!!! The confident smile on my face turns to shock.

I slide my hand over the back of my pants and yep... my black boxer briefs are now visible.

But the music is loud, so nobody heard the rip. And there’s no one behind me, so no one can see it...

So I’ll just keep dancing... And as long as I never turn my back to the group, I’ll be fine.

I end the dancing with a 1, 2, 3, YES!

And everyone takes a seat. I think about putting the group into a partner share so that I can run up to my room to change...

But I am more committed to staying on time and delivering on the Q&A session and so I decide to change my pants later.

As I answer the questions, I remind myself often to face the group at ALL times.

Then a woman shares something very courageous and also very dark about her past. The light-hearted exhilaration in the room turns into a dark, foreboding cloud.

I ask the group if they want me to keep going with content or to switch directions and help this woman have a breakthrough in this area that had been holding her hostage for the last 18 years (and would continue to keep her from attracting clients).

They vote for the breakthrough.

So I bring her on stage and step into my "Breakthrough Coaching Zone."

When I enter this Zone, I lose all self-consciousness and show up fully in service to the woman on stage as well as the entire group.

I start by asking her to reveal something that she had not shared publicly in years: her arms had scars on them from the incident 18 years ago.

She reluctantly takes off her long sleeve shirt to reveal her beautifully scarred arms. The group greets her with love and applause.

I guide her to a place of self-love and forgiveness and invite her to dance slowly as she holds herself in an embrace of self-love.

I can tell that she is still incredibly self-conscious. So I step to the side and invite some women who are moved by her story to come up on stage and literally hold her as they massage her with unconditional love.

She starts sobbing uncontrollably as she feels the love and tenderness of these angelic women. The healing has begun.

After several minutes of healing, one of our team members, Erin Delaney, walks on stage and whispers in my ear, "Your pants are torn at the butt.”

I whisper back, “I know.” And, then it dawns on me. I was no longer facing the group. The whole right side of the room had seen my butt.

Luckily, I am in my Breakthrough Coaching Zone, where I feel like Superman. So instead of getting embarrassed, I ask, "God/Universe, how do you want to use me now?"

Then it comes to me.

It is time for the group of angelic women to step back and make space for this woman to take back her power.

But I know that for her to truly embrace her body without self-consciousness, she is going to need me to lead by example.

So, I face the group and said: “Yesterday, I was talking with a woman who shared with me how well my pants fit. Well, I realize now, that perhaps my pants fit a little too well... When I was dancing earlier, my pants ripped really bad. But, it’s perfect, because if I am going to ask you to be as vulnerable as to share your arms with all of us, I better be willing to be just as vulnerable. So, here goes...”

I turn around, stick my butt out, and wiggle my hips for about two seconds.

The group gasps and then bursts out in laughter.

Immediately, I call for the music and make space for our heroine to step to the front of the stage.

With a huge smile, she dances...Beautiful scars and all.

Her self-consciousness takes a back seat to confidence and her beauty touches everyone in the room.

After a few moments they break into a spontaneous standing ovation as we all acknowledge her courage and beauty.

She walks off the stage, glowing. I am confident her life will be forever changed.

Next I bring Sharla back on stage and acknowledge her for her brilliance, beauty, and also for being the one in our partnership who does not have a slit in the back of her pants (or dress) as the case may be.

The moment I get to the back of the room, I turn into Clark Kent and feel a bit self-conscious... Erin quickly escorts me back to my room, where luckily I had brought an extra pair of slacks... just in case.

My boys are up in my hotel room, and when I show them the huge hole in the back of my pants, they are very impressed.

Now you may be wondering, really??? All that happens at a Client Attraction Summit? Isn’t the Summit supposed to be a business event about how to get more clients? Isn’t it supposed to be serious and a bit boring?

Yes, it is a business event about how to get more clients. But if I allowed the Summit to get boring, there is NO WAY I would have led this same event over 70 times.

In fact, I’ve been to my share of events that were so boring that the thought of stabbing myself with a pencil seemed like a good end to the boredom... I have vowed to do everything in our power to not make our events boring.

As for being a business event that helps you get clients... Yes it is!

Allowing yourself to be a vehicle of service to your clients (no matter how “good” or “bad” it makes you look) is one of the best things you can do to attract clients.

In fact, in spite of this “incredibly embarrassing (or sexy) moment,” it was our highest revenue generating event ever.

Was it the fact that I showed the group my butt? I don’t think so. I think that the huge success came from the fact that the group knew I was willing to do anything and everything in my power to facilitate a life-changing weekend for the whole group.

And life-changing it was...

Already, there have been many posts in our private Facebook group from people raving about the weekend and some from people who are already getting clients, including this one:

“Less than 24 hours since officially joining this community and already scheduled 3 new clients!!! It's amazing the magic that comes when you commit to your dreams and say YES!”

So my question for you is:

When have you put your own self-consciousness to the side to serve your clients? And what happened as a result?

Would love to read your comments below.

July 28, 2015 by Jesse Koren

When to put your business on hold?

One of our Thrive Community members has a best friend who is dying and she posted about her grief in our private Thrive Membership Facebook group. It was a beautiful, heartfelt post that touched me (Jesse) deeply.

Her therapist recommended that she take a break from her business and allow herself to fully grieve. From my perspective, this is not a bad idea. But it’s also not necessarily a good idea.

I wrote a response to her post in the Membership and I decided to share some of my response with you, to support you when your life circumstances are so challenging that you’re tempted to take a break from your business.

If your life is very tough now, this will be especially relevant. And, if your life is awesome, this might be a blog post you forward to a coach or holistic practitioner friend who is going through a tough time.

Here’s what I wrote:

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Thank you for sharing this. What an intense, incredible journey. I appreciate everything you shared and everything you asked for. You are amazing.

I know how deep the grieving can go and I believe that only you can decide whether or not to take a break from your business and for how long.

I’ve found that sometimes taking a break from your business is the perfect thing to do.

When I first started my business and had no business training whatsoever, I couldn’t get one paying client to save my life. Out of frustration and compassion for my failure, I took a year away from my “business” to reset and heal before ramping back up and succeeding the second time.

When both my boys were born, I chose to take about 3 weeks off so that I could support Sharla and set an incredible foundation with my new family. I’m SO glad I did this.

There have been other times where life circumstances have been VERY challenging and VERY emotional. Everything inside of me wanted to quit my business and walk away from everything I had built. But, I knew that this was not my truth… just me trying to avoid the discomfort of being called to stretch and grow in new ways. So, I’ve stayed the course for ten years.

The only one who can make the decision to take time away from your business or not, is… you.

I find that self-care and healing is often best done in small chunks of time and that we can get lost in a sea of depression if we give ourselves an indefinite amount of months to heal from tough life circumstances.

If I was grieving the death of someone close to me, I imagine that I would take a week or two or three away from our business to fully nurture myself and my family.

And, then, if I was still going through it, I would do everything in my power to get the nurturing, support, love, and healing for a couple of hours everyday.

Then, I would dedicate the rest of my day to channeling my emotion into service for you and every other Thriver, and my team and my boys and Sharla.

What I’m sharing is not “the right thing to do”. But it is my truth in this moment, as someone who is committed to taking my experience and dedicating it to the people who have asked for my support. The people who would miss my presence if I stepped away from Thrive for a long time.

There are people who are waiting for you also, who will benefit from your wisdom, heart and experience. And who would miss you, if you stepped away for too long.

I don’t believe that life is giving you anything you can’t handle. As they say, “whatever doesn’t kill you will make a great seminar story.” When you dedicate your life to service, everything you go through is in service to you being the best leader you can be, for your people. So, if you’re going through a tough time, trust that you’ll get through it soon, and everyone will benefit from your healing and empowerment, including you.

So, to sum this all up, I invite you to make a conscious decision as to whether you want to take time away from your business, and if so, how long. And, if you choose to take time off from your business, I invite you to hold a vision for who you will be, when you re-emerge.

I look forward to hearing what you decide. 🙂

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I hope that, wherever you are right now in your business and whatever you are experiencing in this moment in life, you have the courage to treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

Sometimes being kind to yourself means backing off and sometimes being kind means stepping up. I encourage you to get the support you need to do whichever is right for you.

And if you know someone who is going through a tough time right now, I hope you will share this article with them...

Let us know your thoughts in the comment box below.