In my past, I have drained myself countless times in exchange for money (and it nearly killed me) so, I passionately answered her question... our members loved my response so much that they told me to turn it into a blog post.
Here’s my answer to the question about should I release a client who drains me?
It takes courage to release a client (and the income that comes along with them). I'm glad that you didn't let scarcity over take you.
Exchanging getting drained for getting paid is NOT ever worth it, for any reason! (That is something to write on a post-it note and hang on your desk.)
But, before I would dismiss a client, I would inquire deeply into what was draining about working with this client.
I find that there are 3 Major Client Drainers:
Charging too little or giving too much of your time, almost always leads to feelings of being drained. It takes courage to charge what you want to charge and end the session when you say you’re going to end. Do it anyway. It will leave you with more energy to continue your day.
2) Not speaking your truth.
Those things that you wish you could say to your client (but it might be rude or disrespectful, and after all, they're paying you lots of money...) Those are the things you need to say!!! Just begin your bold statement with a large dose of acknowledgment, compassion and gentleness. It's nearly impossible to boldly speak your truth and get drained at the same time.
3) Getting attached to your clients getting results.
This seems like a good thing... don't we all want our clients to get great results? Of course!
The problem is that when you get attached to your client getting great results, you tighten up. And when you tighten up, you lose connection with your client and you lose connection with your intuition. From this place, you probably push your client too hard, or you protect your client from your inner pusher and you become quiet and withholding. Neither works.
Instead, trust that there is a much bigger picture working here. Sometimes people are ripe for results, and other times, it takes time.
Your clients' results do NOT determine your goodness or worthiness. You can be amazing, even if your client didn't get results. And you can be terrible and still have clients get results.
But... it's helpful to use their lack of results as inspiration to step up your game so that you are holding the most optimal space for your clients to get results.
It's helpful to trust that there is a bigger picture happening that we are not always privy to that goes WAY beyond how much money they made, weight they lost, or soulmate they have found.
It's helpful to celebrate the results they are getting, no matter how big or small.
It's helpful to address your clients' feelings about the results they're getting.
It's helpful to love them completely as they are, even if they don't change a bit. And, at the same time, it's helpful to hold vibrant space for them to become who they are becoming.
But, it's NOT helpful to take responsibility for your clients' results. You can't get results for your client, even if you try your hardest. Because they are the ones doing the work... it's their results. Your job is to hold impeccable space, like a cocoon for a butterfly. The space you hold includes your love, wisdom, energy, and compassion. And it's their choice to become the butterfly.
When you're doing your best to help your client win, it's best to simply hand the rest over to them and to God/the Universe and trust that everything that is happening is exactly what needs to happen.
But, what if you’ve been charging an amount that feels good, sticking to your time agreements, speaking your truth, and giving the results over to God/the Universe. But, you're still getting drained. Well...
Sometimes the arc is simply over and it’s time to complete. After all, even the best things in life have a beginning, middle, and end.
Your work together might feel like a stick of bubble gum that you've been chewing for 30 minutes and it simply no longer has much flavor.
If this is the case, we recommend you set this client free and refer them to another resource that can help them grow.
This will make space for new clients to emerge.
Sometimes, the problem is having draining clients... but other times, the BIGGER problem is simply getting enough high-paying clients to pay the bills. If this is the case, we’d love to help... Check out our life-changing Client Attraction Summit.