February 19, 2015 by Sharla Jacobs and Jesse Koren

How to Position Yourself (If You Don’t Feel Successful Yet)...

About seven years ago, I (Jesse) was at a party and my former life coach approached me and said, “I’ve heard that you and Sharla have become quite successful. Congratulations!”

I was speechless. Us? Successful? Really? Is that what people think about us?
Why was I so surprised and embarrassed?

Sure, we had made $732,000 that year (in our third year of business together), but it didn’t feel like we had arrived... not even close.

I knew our struggles so intimately. I knew how many people we wanted to reach.
We weren’t even close to where we wanted to be.

Four days after that party, I entertained the idea that we really were successful.

I realized that in comparison to some people we were successful and in comparison to others, we were failures.

I discovered that nobody had the power to determine whether we were successful or not.

So, if success isn’t an objective truth then what is it?

Success is a choice as to how you see yourself.

If you look for evidence that you’re successful, you will feel successful.

If you look for evidence that you haven’t “made it” yet, you will feel like a failure.

After that party, I CHOSE to start seeing Sharla and I as a success.
And we attracted more success to us.

Even if you just started your business, you can see yourself as a success.

Look back at your life and find tons of small successes that have made you the incredible human being that you are today.

No matter how unsuccessful you may think you are, you get to CHOOSE how you see yourself. And you get to choose how you describe yourself to other people.

No matter how unsuccessful you may think that you are, I guarantee that you are at least two steps ahead of many people on this planet who could use your help.

And two steps ahead of your people is ALL you need, if you want to be of service.

In last week’s blog post: How to Position Yourself as an Authority Without Sounding Arrogant, I wrote,

If you are trying to help someone get to the top of a mountain, would you rather get underneath them and push them up? Or stand above them and pull them up?
It’s a LOT easier to stand above them and pull them up to your level.

So as long as you are two steps ahead of the people you want to help, you are in a GREAT position to help them.

But how do you convey you are two steps ahead of them, without sounding arrogant, egotistical and full of yourself?

And what do you do if you’re just starting out or you’ve just been in business for a very short time? Or if you’ve been around for a while, but haven’t quite “made it” yet, then how do you position yourself?

As we shared in last week’s blog, if you just list your accomplishments or your expertise, with no humanity, you will sound arrogant.

So it’s important to share your humanity and your expertise.

Here are some true examples from our life that might spark ideas for how you can position yourself by sharing both your humanity AND expertise.

How many people we’ve helped:
(Humanity) We struggled a lot in the beginning, but we never gave up. And, because of our perseverance…
(Expertise) we’ve been fortunate enough to be able to help over 25,000 people.
The collective results of our clients:
(Humanity) While we have had some clients who have not gotten any results,
(Expertise) we do have a LOT of clients who are making six figures and attribute their success to what they learned from us. In fact, if you pooled all of our clients together, we could conservatively say that our clients have made tens of millions of dollars with what we have taught them.
Our personal results:
(Humanity)In our first two years of leading workshops, we gave our heart and soul to our participants, but never earned more than $1,000 for the workshop.
(Expertise) Recently, we led a live event that brought in over $500,000 in one weekend. We feel so blessed to have learned so much over the last 10 years.

If you’ve helped a lot of people, gotten great results for your clients, and had tremendous personal results, you can use the three ideas above to help you decide how to position yourself without being arrogant.

But how do you position yourself if you’re just starting out (or if you’ve been around for a while, but haven’t quite “made it” yet)?

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Use Your Personal Story.
Your personal story (we call it Your Hero’s Journey Story) is the story of how you faced something (and got through to the other side) that you now help your clients face. You can share how you walked through your own “dark night of the soul (humanity)” and are now living an amazing life (expertise). If you are someone who walks her/his talk, this also positions you in a way that has your Potential Clients believe that you can walk them through their dark night of the soul also.
Your Image.
We recommend you dress two notches higher than your potential clients. Many people make the mistake of continuing to dress how they do when they’re with friends when they’re doing business. We recommend you dress like you’re making 6 Figures. Dress in a way that is both elegant (expertise) and uniquely you (humanity).
How Long You Have Studied Your Profession (Personal Development PLUS Your Niche).
Here’s a great template that includes Humanity and Expertise:
“I’ve studied personal development and________ (your niche: health, money, beauty, or love) for many years. During this time, many people have been drawn to me, and asked for my support. Enough people have approached me that I decided quite some time ago, to dedicate my life to helping a LOT/hundreds/thousands of people overcome this problem.”

Here’s how to come up with your own Positioning Statements:

Step 1.
Make a list of all the different ways you can position yourself as an authority in your field (be truthful, of course). (If you are struggling with the six positioning strategies listed above, we are happy to give you 10 more in our Client Attraction Mastery Home Study Program (we’re launching on March 31^st, so stay tuned).

Step 2.
Write up phrases you can say in conversation, in your emails, or on your website that bring humanity and expertise to your communication.

Step 3.
Practice saying these phrases in a safe place. You can practice in front of the mirror or with a good friend. You can also come to the Client Attraction Summit, which is a very safe place to practice positioning yourself in a community of heart-based people.

We’d love to hear how you feel about this. Let us know in the comments below.

February 11, 2015 by Jesse Koren

How to Position Yourself as an Expert without Being Arrogant

When you were growing up, did you receive any of these messages?
Don’t be arrogant.

Be humble.

Be modest.
Don’t say anything that will make someone else feel bad about themselves.

Don’t get a big head.
Let go of your ego.
Don’t brag about yourself.
Don’t take yourself so seriously.

I heard these messages a lot. In fact, so many times that I started to believe that being modest (and hiding my greatness) is what actually made me a good person. I was an AWESOME soccer player, but when people asked if I was good at soccer I’d say, “I’m okay.”

I spent many years dimming down my greatness and playing modest.

And it worked. Nobody could say I was arrogant!

But when I first started my coaching business, my "be modest, hide my greatness, don’t take myself too seriously" gig didn’t work so well.

I couldn’t get even one paying private client. I couldn’t even almost get a client. Why? Nobody was taking me seriously as a life coach because I wasn’t taking myself seriously.

And so, after a year of trying, I gave up.

The bummer was that I was just missing one skill...

Had I mastered this skill, my potential clients would have taken me seriously and I would have had a full thriving business.

What's that one skill?

It's the skill of Positioning yourself. In our Client Attraction Mastery Program, we call “Positioning” the 6th Element.

Like it or not, every time you meet someone new, they are judging you.

Are you a potential mentor? A potential friend? A potential client? A potential date? 🙂

You may feel that you are subject to the whim of their judgments, but you actually co-create their judgments.

If in the first couple of minutes of the conversation, you say something impressive about yourself, your potential client will look up to you and respect you.

If you don’t share anything impressive about yourself or even share something unimpressive about yourself, they will not view you as a potential mentor, no matter how great you actually are.

Now this sharing something impressive about yourself crap may bring up a lot of your old conditioning...

Be modest. Be humble. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Don’t say anything great about yourself and risk making your potential client feel bad about herself, right?

Wrong.

If you are trying to help someone get to the top of a mountain, would you rather get underneath them and push them up? Or stand above them and pull them up?

It’s a LOT easier to stand above them and pull them up to your level.

When you share your impressiveness and then--- wait for it--- acknowledge them for their greatness, your acknowledgment goes in much deeper because they are being acknowledged by someone they have classified as impressive. You become the best kind of potential mentor. A great person who is committed to helping your potential clients see themselves as great.

If on the other hand, in the first few minutes of the conversation you withhold your impressiveness and even share things that "de-position" you or have you look bad in their eyes, they will not see you as a potential mentor and you’ll have to exert a LOT more work to get them as a client and you'll almost certainly fail.
Does this mean you have to hide all of your insecurities?
NO!!!!

Your insecurities make you human. They make you likable. They make you approachable.
In order to position yourself without sounding arrogant, you share your Expertise AND your Humanity.

But the time to share your humanity is AFTER you’ve positioned yourself in a way that makes your potential client say “WOW!”

Here’s a short positioning template:
Even though I ______________(share something impressive about yourself) I still ____________(share a vulnerable insecurity you have.)

For example:
"Even though Sharla and I have led about 200 events and have taught over 25,000 people how to attract more clients, I still get nervous before I first walk on stage at one of our events."

You may be wondering what to say about yourself that would position yourself as an expert.

Next week, we’ll share with you 3 ways you can position yourself (information that we have never shared before except in our Client Attraction Mastery Program).

In the meantime, leave us a comment and let us know how you feel about Positioning.
And please share this article if you think it would support a friend or colleague who is looking to attract more clients.

Let us know what you think!

January 8, 2015 by Sharla Jacobs

How to Tame the Most Intense Business Challenge

Most coaches and holistic practitioners start their business because they want to do meaningful work. Can you relate?

But they often don’t realize how challenging running their own business can be. When it gets challenging, especially so challenging that it shakes you at your core, who are you going to be in the face of adversity?

What if there were two questions you could ask yourself that would allow you to tame even your biggest challenge?

Question #1:

WHY are you doing this “business thing” in the first place?

For most coaches and holistic practitioners, you do what you do because you received tremendous (even life-changing support) from someone who did what you are now trained to do. This is a great why!

However, if you really want to tame your challenge, we suggest you look at a higher level. Ask yourself, “How will the world become a better place because of the work I’m doing?”

This allows you to come up with a “why” that is bigger than your own well-being.
When you come up with the answer, you’ve got a powerful mission to fulfill. The bigger your mission, the bigger you become. And when you energetically become bigger, your challenge pales in comparison to your strength.

A few years ago, we realized that what we do best is turn local coaches and holistic practitioners into extraordinary Transformational Leaders who are making $10,000+ per month and impacting hundreds and even thousands of people with their work. Through helping our clients, we get to positively impact the lives of millions of people. This is a BIG GAME that inspires us, so much that the many challenges that have come our way have seemed small in the face of who we’ve had to become to win this game.

And the great news is that our well-being increases by fulfilling on this mission.

Now it’s your turn: How will the world become a better place because of the work you do?

When you have an answer that inspires you and lights you up, write it down and place it on your wall. Look at this every morning before you start your work.

Question #2:

There is a second question to ask yourself. This one is an edgy question because it’s easy to think you’ll be able to answer this question AFTER you are making six or seven figures in your business.

The question is: “How can your business be a force for good for the entire planet?”

When things get tough, it’s important that you’re not just in business for something bigger than yourself... you’re also in business for something bigger than your clients.

In asking yourself how your business can be a force for good for the entire planet, ask yourself: “How can my business be a vehicle for philanthropy?”

When your business success means you’ll be contributing to something greater than to yourself and your clients, your tough times will feel small in comparison to the people you are supporting through philanthropy.

Several years ago I was at an event with our dear friend, Cynthia Kersey. She shared her vision to have every child in the world get an education. I was so moved by her photos of the mamas and babies. And disturbed by the conditions these families endure, just to get a drink of water, for example.

I was moved by the idea that every child would not only get an education, but also get access to clean water (where the mamas didn’t need to spend their entire day to get water) and desperately needed medical care.

She also shared that the parents would learn how to earn a sustainable income, and that the community would be taught organic farming, to make sure that everyone in the village would be clothed, fed and educated in a self-sustaining way.

The thought of children starving and having no hope to get out of their circumstances is heartbreaking to me. It’s an instant guarantee of tears and a pit in my throat. By the end of that event, I stood up and declared that we would sponsor an African Village before the end of the year. I had committed to donating $25,000 without even asking Jesse!

Jesse, of course, agreed and this commitment fueled us in ways we could have never imagined. And when the middle of December came, we sent Cynthia’s organization, the Unstoppable Foundation, a check for $25,000.

At the time, it was a HUGE stretch to send that check. But now, when we see pictures of the new school building they built and the well, it inspires us to keep doing our business at higher and higher levels.

When our boys are older, we plan to take them to this village in Kenya, so they can see the good that came from our commitment.

(If you’re interested in learning more about the Unstoppable Foundation, here is a link to the website.)

We also have built philanthropy into our business model at the Client Attraction Summit.

We recently passed the $100,000 mark in our contributions through Kiva.org. We’re just getting started.

We encourage you to include philanthropy as part of your business model. When you make a commitment to have an impact in an area that is bigger than yourself, you will walk differently and talk differently and your problems will seem small in comparison with your soul-filled commitment. And when you look in the mirror, you will love who you see.

Let us know what you think!

December 23, 2014 by Jesse Koren

How to Make the Internal Shifts Necessary to Achieve Your Vision

We hope you've enjoyed this mini-course on how to make sure 2015 is the best year yet.

We want to end this series with some serious inspiration. This will be especially powerful for you if you're feeling stuck in your business or your life.

Jacob and Zach meet Santa on the train to Christmas Town

Here is a story from my own life on the external shifts I made to achieve my 2003 Vision to have a full coaching practice...and how you can do the same:

It was February of 2003...I (Jesse) was stuck in a dead end job I hated. I knew that I was supposed to help LOTS of people (just as an acorn is meant to become an oak tree).

I just didn't know HOW to do it. In fact, I had tried to get coaching clients for an entire year, but I couldn't get one private client to pay me a dime. And that's why I was stuck at this dead end job.
Eating a lot of cake and cookies and pizza to try to stuff down this gnawing emptiness.

Until I had an awakening. It came in the unlikeliest of places... from my girlfriend (now wife) Sharla. I had watched Sharla struggle to get clients, and wasn't surprised because I knew how hard it was.

But then she hired a business coach. Within three months, she filled her practice to the brim with clients. My awakening came when I realized there was nothing wrong with me... I just never learned the skill of attracting clients.

In that moment, I went from feeling sorry for myself and jealous of Sharla's success to... competitive! I told myself, "If Sharla can be successful, I can too." Three months later, I got five new clients.

How did I go from seriously depressed to five coaching clients and on fire?

In order to go from zero to 5 new clients in my first month of business, I changed four things:

1) I Became a Student of How to Attract Clients.

I realized that I was not the first person in the world who had ever struggled to get clients, so I started to look for a mentor. I discovered that I could do it gracefully and with heart (which was SO different than what my mind told me about sales and marketing).

I watched Sharla and how she attracted clients with ease. I modeled the questions she was asking potential clients. And I breathed into her confidence. And I invested in an expensive business training program. I wasn't used to paying thousands of dollars for a seminar, but I knew that I wasn't going to get results until I learned how to become a master of attracting clients.

2) I Created a Physical Reminder to Keep Me Motivated.

This is a little strange, but I hung 15 postcards with pictures of animals and people all over my office. The postcards told a secret story of who I had to become and what I wanted to accomplish in one month. I looked at the postcards constantly and smiled to myself as I envisioned telling my boss that I was going to quit. I didn't tell anyone what the postcards meant to me. It was my little secret that kept me inspired and excited.

3) I Let My Dead-End Job Fuel My Hunger to Be Free.

Instead of continuing to get drained by my dead-end job, I let my pain and emptiness inspire me to get out...F-A-S-T. I breathed in to my pain and allowed my pain to make me bigger, stronger, and a better coach. I got HUNGRY for change.

4) I Offered a Free Coaching Session to Nearly Everyone I Talked To.

Armed with my business training and my newfound passion, I was public about my enthusiasm. In one month I did at least 10 free sessions. Not everyone wanted to continue working with me, but five did. (We now know that Free Consultations are much more effective than free sessions, but we'll save this for another post.)

I gave notice in August of 2003. Several months later, Sharla and I joined forces and attracted 16 new clients in one month. That's when we knew that we had mastered this thing we now call Heartselling™

That was over 10 years ago. Since then we've taught our Heartselling**™ System to over 25,000 people.

I hope you're inspired by this story. But inspiration, by itself is not enough. Inspiration fades. Commitment stays. I invite you to take this a step further than inspiration and actually write up a story about all the amazing things that are going to happen to you in 2015.

Yes, that's right, write about your success before it happens. Because your mind hates change, even positive change. By writing the story of your future success, you are preparing your mind for the change that is coming next year.

Here's to an epic 2015!

Let us know what you think!

December 17, 2014 by Jesse Koren

How to Make the Internal Shifts Necessary to Achieve Your Vision

In our last two blog posts, you discovered our tips for How to Get Clear on Your Vision for Income and Impact and How to Get Clear on the Vehicle You’ll Use to Achieve Your Vision.

Once you get clear on the vehicle you’re going to use to achieve your vision, it’s not uncommon for fear and doubt to creep in. This is why it’s important to avoid taking blind action when you feel fear or doubt. Instead, we recommend you check your mindset and set yourself up to be emotionally, mentally and spiritually positioned to achieve your vision.

These four steps will help you make the internal shifts necessary to achieve your vision.

Step 1: Celebrate!!!

Make a list of your Top 10 Victories of the year (no matter how big or small).

Then celebrate your victories in style with high 5's, hugs, a celebration dinner, a sweet kiss with someone special, a hot tub or a massage.

Celebration attunes your Spirit to success... so that instead of “turning around failure” you’re building on success.

Step 2: Set Both Happy and Ecstatic Goals.

Fill in the blanks:

1. I'd be happy if I worked with ____ (# of clients) each month by the end of 2015.

2. I'd be ECSTATIC if I worked with ____ (# of clients) each month by the end of 2015.

3. I'd be happy if I was making $________ each month by the end of 2015.

4. I'd be ECSTATIC if I was making $________ each month by the end of 2015.

If you have more goals in addition to clients and money, you can write these out, too.

The key is to keep your goals simple enough that you’ll remember them in three months.

Step 3: Imagine you achieved your ECSTATIC goals.

Journal about WHY this would be so awesome! What would the increase in clients and money make possible for you? How would this benefit your whole life?

If you feel ecstatic about your bright future, you can stop here. You don’t have internal shifts to make around your vision. Just keep breathing in to your excitement, as if you were fanning a flame to make your excitement bigger.

If you feel excited, but also discouraged about the gap between where you are and where you want to be, then move on to Step 4... It’s time to make some internal shifts.

Step 4: Transform yourself.

If you are feeling discouraged, your goal might be so BIG that you have no idea how to get there. If this is the case, then you may want to shrink your vision until you feel more comfortable.

If you are getting a “HELL NO,” to this suggestion, that’s great! Keep your big vision and work on both your inner game and your outer game. The rest of this article will help you with your inner game. As for shifting your outer game, we suggest finding a mentor who has achieved a vision as big as yours... and then follow their system.

How to make inner game shifts:

If you can’t see yourself achieving your vision, it’s probably because you are empowering past failures.

The most successful people in the world have failed MANY times. They understand it’s just part of the game. What makes them successful is how they relate to their failures.

Here is a VERY powerful process to turn your relationship with failure from terrible to amazing.

Take out a fresh sheet of paper and draw a table with three columns and five rows, that looks like this:

In the first column, write down your 5 biggest failures.
In the second column, write down the insight or lesson from each failure that still benefits you today.
In the third column, write down the gift(s) you got from each experience.

Here’s an example from my own life:

Now make another table, but this one will be for your successes.

In the first column, write down your 5 biggest successes.
In the second column, write down the biggest insight or lesson you received from each success that still benefits you today.
In the third column, write down the gift(s) you received from this success.

Here is another example from my own life:

When you do this simple, but powerful exercise, you will transform your relationship to failure and increase your ability to attract a lot more success to you.

Let us know what you think!